Sometimes I have days that I am looking at the clock at 9:30 am and thinking to myself, "Really, it's only 9:30?!" You know those days, the days that the laundry multiplies before your eyes, the floors are sticky from who knows what, the kids are acting crazy, you feel crazy, the demands are high and your patience is low. It feels like damage control, controlled chaos. I have those days that being a mom is just, hard. I have my share of days that I feel overwhelmed and under-qualified.
A month or so ago the kids were coloring and Hannah asked for another piece of paper. I turned to get it for her and when I turned back around, she was coloring on the flat screen. I was not a happy camper. Hannah was sent to her room and was also not a happy camper. She was throwing such a fit about being sent to her room, that I ended up putting the baby gate up to keep her in her room. She was screaming as I was trying to get the crayon off of the tv, and I was so upset about what a rotten day we had (were) having. I glanced up to make sure David was still at the table, but to my dismay, he was not. He had climbed up the back of the sofa onto the sofa table and had my route 44 cherry coke in his hands. I told him to sit down and as I stepped towards him, he jerked back, lost his balance and fell off of the sofa. Thank the Lord he was okay, and as soon as I knew he was okay, I burst into tears. So there we were, Hannah crying in her room, David crying in my lap, and me crying with a cherry-coke soaked toddler amidst my cherry coke soaked carpet with my pink crayon decorated tv. I got David cleaned up, the carpet cleaned up, and the crayon off of the tv, and gathered the kids up into my lap and we prayed for a fresh start to the day, a prayer for a better afternoon. We have quite a few days that we pray for a "do-over", and not a day goes by that I am not praying for patience.
Raising children is hard work, and there are days that I think how easy it would be to let my kids do whatever they want, but I know that while short term, in the moment that would be the easiest, long term that would make things miserable for everyone who ever has any kind of contact with my kiddos, and is a complete disservice to my children. So I forge ahead, and do the best that I can. Sometimes though, my best feels pretty inadequate. Luckily, I have a God whose grace is sufficient. He is enough. Even when I am at the end of my rope, He is there, He is sufficient, He is enough. Despite my weaknesses, hang-ups, screw-ups, and short-comings, He is there and there is no weakness or hang-up so big, no screw-up so bad, and no short-coming so great that He cannot handle it. And that's a pretty good thing to know when you find yourself looking at the clock at 9:30.
