The Doctors Wife

My Heart is Heavy

The past few weeks have kicked me down,  and my heart feels heavy. We have had family and friends pass away, have had friends and family lose loved ones unexpectedly, lose jobs, lose babies...it has been a tough couple of weeks. Today Mike and I attended the funeral of one of his friends, he was 35 years old and died so unexpectedly- he leaves behind a wife and two children, the youngest is just a baby and I am heartsick for this sweet family.

Hannah and David both knew this friend...he was admitted to the hospital on Thursday and was in pretty rough shape. Friday evening before bed, the kids made get well cards. He passed away Friday evening just an hour or so after they were in bed.  Saturday morning the first thing Hannah did was find her card and ask me if he was better...how exactly do you explain death to a four year old? I told her that he was better, because he had gone to heaven to be with God, and when you are in heaven, you are completely better. I told her we miss people when they are in heaven because they are no longer here with us, but it is a wonderful thing to be with Jesus and be completely better. I wanted to keep my explanation simple and short, Hannah is at an age where she asks a million questions and my emotions were raw, and I was not completely awake for this conversation, (she literally got her card first thing out of bed) and I didn't want to go down the slippery slope of "old" age, and being "sick" because I feel this is really tricky to explain to this age without opening up a fear of dying, sickness, getting older, etc. Thankfully, she accepted my answer and seems to be okay with it. 

My prayer is that all of our friends and  loved ones who are struggling and grieving feel the love and peace of Jesus,  that happier days are ahead, and the comfort of God surrounds them in a way that sinks them deep in the fullness of His love.  If you are struggling or grieving, it is my prayer for you too. It is almost Thanksgiving, and even with everything that we have been dealing with, we have so much to be grateful for, I am blessed beyond anything that I deserve.  I pray that you all have a Thanksgiving that is full of love and hope.

 

The Lake, Part 2

Can you tell by the look on David's face that he had a blast on the boat?

He was so excited and kept begging to go "faster, faster!" He was giddy with excitement, and the faster we went, the more exctied he got! "Having a go" driving the boat,

 

The "queen of the world"

When Mommy started driving the boat, David cuddled up with Grammy and took a nap. I guess my driving wasn't as fast and exciting as Daddy's!

We had so much fun and I am so thankful for this tradition- we have been going on fall break for the last 17 years and I look forward to many more!

The Lake, Part 1

During fall break we were lucky enough to get away to the lake with my parents. Hannah and David were giddy with excitement and were on cloud 9 the entire weekend! Going for a hike with Grammy:

David was so exciting to go fishing and had his hands on his Cars rod whenever he could. Getting a lesson on casting from PaPa

He loved pushing the button and reeling it in, he did this over and over and over!

Hannah fishing with PaPa- she was so cute! The first time she was reeling her line in, she said "Ewwww, I caught a worm!" Ha! 

First fish! (It's little and in the shadows, but Hannah was so excited!)

David's first fish! He had so much fun- they were getting to where they were catching fish after fish! It was so fun that they had such good luck their first time fishing! I am so thankful that my parents were there and got to see them catch their first fish- my Dad has macular degeneration and his vision has really been going down hill in the last few months, and I am grateful he got to see this special first. 

 

Lighten Up

As a new year begins and I am assessing the last year and looking at the year ahead I have several goals for the year. Since we are anticipating a move in the next 6 months, I know that this year will likely be a year of big changes, and I have tried to keep this in mind when setting goals for this year. Two of my goals are to lose the last of the baby weight, and to "lighten up" our house in anticipation of moving. David will be 2 years old next month, and I think it is fair to call extra weight baby weight until the baby turns 2, then it's just fat. And I don't want the extra weight- so I have a first weight loss goal set for David's birthday, and a second to finish off the "baby weight" by Hannah's birthday. I am not a believer in traditional dieting and I think most diet foods cause more harm than good and I am not a fan of calorie counting. (I think that when you are a mother of little girls you have to be especially careful about dieting and calorie counting as it is modeling behavior to our daughters in a world that has absolutely lost it's mind about being skinny- it is a tough balance of modeling a healthy lifestyle with healthy attitudes about food, weight and body image) So my plan is to watch my portions and get my rear in gear and start working our regularly again. I have not worked out regularly in ages and I know that aside from helping me shed a few pounds, it will help me feel so much better. Right now I am thinking I will be alternating going to the gym and working out at home on the Wii. And as the weather allows, getting the kids out for more walks- that is one thing that I loathe about winter, being all cooped up inside! 

My second big goal is to pare down and get rid of a lot of stuff in preparation of moving. Not only will this clear up space for when we are showing our home, but it will make packing/ unpacking much easier if there is less stuff to deal with. I have a huge garage sale pile in the making, and I am hoping to go through the entire house, closet by closet, cabinet by cabinet and get rid of things that we don't/or rarely use. My tolerance for things with occasional use has gone down dramatically since our last move, and I think there will be a lot of stuff that doesn't make the cut.  ; ) So, those are my two big goals for the year, hopefully 6 months from now me and the house will be much lighter!

Really, It's Only 9:30?

Sometimes I have days that I am looking at the clock at 9:30 am and thinking to myself, "Really, it's only 9:30?!" You know those days, the days that the laundry multiplies before your eyes, the floors are sticky from who knows what, the kids are acting crazy, you feel crazy, the demands are high and your patience is low.  It feels like damage control, controlled chaos. I have those days that being a mom is just, hard. I have my share of days that I feel overwhelmed and under-qualified.

A month or so ago the kids were coloring and Hannah asked for another piece of paper. I turned to get it for her and when I turned back around, she was coloring on the flat screen. I was not a happy camper. Hannah was sent to her room and was also not a happy camper. She was throwing such a fit about being sent to her room, that I ended up putting the baby gate up to keep her in her room. She was screaming as I was trying to get the crayon off of the tv, and I was so upset about what a rotten day we had (were) having. I glanced up to make sure David was still at the table, but to my dismay, he was not. He had climbed up the back of the sofa onto the sofa table and had my route 44 cherry coke in his hands. I told him to sit down and as I stepped towards him, he jerked back, lost his balance and fell off of the sofa. Thank the Lord he was okay, and as soon as I knew he was okay, I burst into tears. So there we were, Hannah crying in her room, David crying in my lap, and me crying with a cherry-coke soaked toddler amidst my cherry coke soaked carpet with my pink crayon decorated tv. I got David cleaned up, the carpet cleaned up, and the crayon off of the tv, and gathered the kids up into my lap and we prayed for a fresh start to the day, a prayer for a better afternoon. We have quite a few days that we pray for a "do-over", and not a day goes by that I am not praying for patience.

Raising children is hard work, and there are days that I think how easy it would be to let my kids do whatever they want, but I know that while short term, in the moment that would be the easiest, long term that would make things miserable for everyone who ever has any kind of contact with my kiddos, and is a complete disservice to my children. So I  forge ahead, and do the best that I can. Sometimes though, my best feels pretty inadequate.  Luckily, I have a God whose grace is sufficient. He is enough. Even when I am at the end of my rope, He is there, He is sufficient, He is enough. Despite my weaknesses, hang-ups, screw-ups, and short-comings, He is there and there is no weakness or hang-up so big, no screw-up so bad, and no short-coming so great that He cannot handle it. And that's a pretty good thing to know when you find yourself looking at the clock at 9:30. 

A Touch Of Color

I have a fair complexion. As a blond-haired, blue-eyed child, I tanned shockingly well. If I look back at pictures from my childhood summers, I am tan, tan, TAN. My mother also has a fair complexion, and I can remember teasing her (along with my older brother) about her "blindingly" white skin. As a teenager, I was thankful that I had inherited my Dad's ability to tan easily. Well, dear friends, time seems to have not been my friend and I appear to be getting my come-upppins for all of that teasing because as an adult I seem to be getting fairer and tanning is a touch more difficult. In fact, I would say that for at least the last four summers my Mother has easily been noticeably tanner than me. 

A couple of months ago I was at the Clinique counter getting my beloved bamboo-pink lipstick and I also received a sample of self tanner. I didn't think much about it because being fair means it is tricky business finding a self tanner that doesn't make you look nuclear orange. But as our San Antonio trip approached, I wanted a touch of color (you know, so I wouldn't be blindingly white) and I remembered the bottle. Well, the instructions were long gone, so I googled and found good reviews. Everyone loved that the lotion was tinted, as it aided in the application. I decided to give it a go, and as I applied the lotion, I didn't really notice a tint, and I assumed it was the re-formulation that some of the reviews had mentioned. The next morning I was very pleased with the color, it was great! Not orange at all, and a very natural look. I continued to use up the sample until I was afraid I would run out without having enough to have an even application over my arms and legs. Yesterday I made a trip with the kiddos to the mall and while I was in Sephora (getting my beloved Dior mascara) I remembered the self tanner. I was in a bit of a hurry, and was rather pleased that I remember to pick up a bottle.

 Tonight I got out my sample to use up the last of the bottle, since I had a new bottle as a back up in case I ran out mid-application. Sure enough, one leg in, I ran out. I opened up the new bottle, and imagine my surprise when bronze lotion oozed out of the tube. I quickly scanned the bottles and much to my dismay, my sample is light, and my new full sized bottle is "medium/dark".  I am not "medium/dark", not even close. Perhaps at the end of summer I could use it, and it would only make me look slightly oompa-loompaish. But now? I think not. Needless to say, I will be returning to the mall (much to Hannah's delight) to return it. But that still left me faced with the difficult decision of how to continue as I was done with one leg in the light, and all I had left to work with was the dark. I decided that I was already too far gone to stop, and continued mad scientist style. I mixed it with some regular lotion to tone it down a few notches, (ha, still seemed pretty dark to me) and I am  not so sure what I am going to look like once the color "sets". All of this to say, if you see me this weekend and I look like a stripey, day-glo orange tiger, you can understand. Now I can completely relate to Ross and his tanning debacle. 

Long Time, No Blog

I am amazed that it seems that every time I sit down to blog, it has been a week since I last blogged! Things have been busy, I have been cleaning and organizing, taking care of an on again off again sick Rover, and a million other things that would bore you to death if I listed them all. David is having tubes put in his ears this week, so I would appreciate prayers for my little Rover. Hannah has her dance recital this weekend, a birthday party, and a play-date so I will definitely not be bored this week. (Not that I sit around bored most weeks- ha!) I am just hoping that the weather cooperates, because this Mama is not a fan of getting little kiddos out in the rain. Hoping you are all safe and dry!

Life is busy! I have been doing some spring cleaning, including cleaning out my closet. That was a huge undertaking, but I feel so much better now that it is finished! It was bad peeps, really, really bad. I don't know that my closet has ever been so out of control, and it sure feels great to have it all cleaned up and in order. I have also been tending to a sick little Rover, we are meeting with an ENT on Friday. I think that tubes may be in his future, and while I hate the idea of surgery (really, it is a procedure, but still) he is just miserable, and has been having a tough time getting to sleep. 

   

Hoping for a good night's rest for this little guy!