The Doctors Wife

Merry Christmas

I love Christmas music. I love it, but it makes me cry. And when I was pregnant...let's just say on more than one occasion I had to pull over on the way to work. Reading Christmas books to Hannah and David, I get choked up and have to power through, trying as hard as I can to not dissolve into complete sobs. (Some books I know I can't make it through, so Mike reads them).  It used to really bother me- I was so embarrassed that I was such a baby- I mean who cries reading J is for Jesus? (raises hand) Thinking about how much God loves me,  brings me to tears. I am so unworthy of such perfect love, so undeserving of complete forgiveness and yet, with all of my imperfections, all of my shortcomings and all of my ugly sin, I am a child of the God of the universe, forgiven and loved. I am overwhelmed by this love. Overwhelmed to the point that sometimes my only response is to cry. Christmas is the time that we celebrate and reflect God becoming man-  leaving Heaven to come into a broken, sinful world, to love and  reconcile the world to our Heavenly Father. Born in human flesh, Jesus walked with us, lived to love us, and died to save us. Jesus is the greatest gift the world has ever received, and my hope is this Christmas, you receive this perfect love. A love that will wash peace over you in ways you never thought possible, give you more hope than you can imagine, and wrap a comfort around you so great, it overwhelms you. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace"   Isaiah 9:6

 

 

Really, It's Only 9:30?

Sometimes I have days that I am looking at the clock at 9:30 am and thinking to myself, "Really, it's only 9:30?!" You know those days, the days that the laundry multiplies before your eyes, the floors are sticky from who knows what, the kids are acting crazy, you feel crazy, the demands are high and your patience is low.  It feels like damage control, controlled chaos. I have those days that being a mom is just, hard. I have my share of days that I feel overwhelmed and under-qualified.

A month or so ago the kids were coloring and Hannah asked for another piece of paper. I turned to get it for her and when I turned back around, she was coloring on the flat screen. I was not a happy camper. Hannah was sent to her room and was also not a happy camper. She was throwing such a fit about being sent to her room, that I ended up putting the baby gate up to keep her in her room. She was screaming as I was trying to get the crayon off of the tv, and I was so upset about what a rotten day we had (were) having. I glanced up to make sure David was still at the table, but to my dismay, he was not. He had climbed up the back of the sofa onto the sofa table and had my route 44 cherry coke in his hands. I told him to sit down and as I stepped towards him, he jerked back, lost his balance and fell off of the sofa. Thank the Lord he was okay, and as soon as I knew he was okay, I burst into tears. So there we were, Hannah crying in her room, David crying in my lap, and me crying with a cherry-coke soaked toddler amidst my cherry coke soaked carpet with my pink crayon decorated tv. I got David cleaned up, the carpet cleaned up, and the crayon off of the tv, and gathered the kids up into my lap and we prayed for a fresh start to the day, a prayer for a better afternoon. We have quite a few days that we pray for a "do-over", and not a day goes by that I am not praying for patience.

Raising children is hard work, and there are days that I think how easy it would be to let my kids do whatever they want, but I know that while short term, in the moment that would be the easiest, long term that would make things miserable for everyone who ever has any kind of contact with my kiddos, and is a complete disservice to my children. So I  forge ahead, and do the best that I can. Sometimes though, my best feels pretty inadequate.  Luckily, I have a God whose grace is sufficient. He is enough. Even when I am at the end of my rope, He is there, He is sufficient, He is enough. Despite my weaknesses, hang-ups, screw-ups, and short-comings, He is there and there is no weakness or hang-up so big, no screw-up so bad, and no short-coming so great that He cannot handle it. And that's a pretty good thing to know when you find yourself looking at the clock at 9:30. 

Revelation

The Bible study that I am attending at my church is Beth Moore's study on Revelation. It is so good, and if you have the opportunity to attend a study- you should! I LOVE the song "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road, and throughout the study, the song keeps coming to my mind. I thought I would share in case you haven't heard it- go here to hear it on youtube. 

 

 

Medical Mondays- A Different Perspective

When I was growing up anytime an ambulance would pass by, we took the time while pulled over to say a prayer for the person in the ambulance. The thought was, that if you were the one in the ambulance wouldn't you appreciate everyone praying for you on your way to the hospital? Well, now as an adult, as I pull my car over I still say a prayer for the person riding in the ambulance, but I also say a prayer for the EMT's and the doctors who will be treating the patient once they arrive at the hospital. 

I pray for Mike professionally, and I pray for the other doctors, nurses and staff that he works with, and I also pray for his patients (even though I don't know their names or anything about them- it's just a blanket prayer for the patients in my husband's care, God knows) and their families. 

Doctors are under a tremendous amount of pressure. They make life or death decisions throughout their day, and at the very least they make life altering decisions. Therefore I think it is important that we cover our husbands in prayer, and I feel that this extends out to their co-workers and patients. It's funny how before Mike was a doctor it never occurred to me to pray for doctors, nurses, etc. and now it seems so obvious. So I encourage you to say a quick prayer the next time you are pulling over for an ambulance or other emergency vehicle.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Ephesians 6:18

 

Merry Christmas

 

 

"FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN, UNTO US A SON IS GIVEN, AND HIS NAME SHALL BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELLOR, THE MIGHTY GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER, THE PRINCE OF PEACE." ISAIAH 9:6

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and the peace, joy, comfort, and hope of Jesus!

I am asking you to please pray for my friend Sara. She and I met while our husbands were in medical school and our children are the same ages, and her sweet baby Addison is in the hospital. They had a scare last week and she spent several days in the hospital, and now they are back and unsure of what the problem is. My heart is just aching for her, and I am asking that you please say a prayer for their family. 

Rocks In My Wagon

I had dinner with some of my girlfriends on Tuesday. It was really fun to catch up and get out of the house without any little ones. When I got home, I didn't feel as refreshed as I usually do after being out with friends, it really bothered me and  I got to thinking about why I was feeling that way. At dinner, I whined- a lot. I whiiiiiiined. And then I whiiiiined some more. I have been exhausted the past few weeks, and have generally felt overwhelmed with everything I have to do. And I have had a bad attitude about it. I understand that during this season of life, with two little ones, things are going to be, well exhausting sometimes. I tried to justify my crummy attitude and validate my bad mood- because hello! I have two little children who I do everything for, and a husband, and a house, and dogs, and so many responsibilities that my head feels like it's spinning, and on and on. But the simple truth is that no matter how justified I feel, sitting and wallowing in self pity (or whining to your friends) doesn't help. I was letting my bad attitude really get to me, and it was making everything so much worse. I started thinking about a passage in the book, Having A Mary Heart In A Martha World, by Joanna Weaver (which is a really great book and I highly recommend it) and I thought I would share it. (To save myself the time it would take to summarize it, I found a summary from Virtual Christian Magazine and am copying it below. You can read the entire article that the summary is from here) 

"The story is told of a man who met God one day. God asked him to take a wagon with three stones to the top of the mountain. God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust. The man cheerfully set off pulling the wagon behind him.

As he was going through a small village, a friend stopped him and asked him what he was doing. He explained that he was taking the wagon of rocks to the top of the mountain. The friend became excited as he explained he was just thinking about how he was going to get his rock to the top of the mountain, and would the man be willing to take the rock in his wagon as well? Happily, the man with the wagon took the friend's rock and started on his way.

As he went along, more and more people asked him to take their rocks with him until the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. No longer was the man singing praises. Instead, resentment began to build inside. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward.

About that time God came to his side and asked what the problem was. "You gave me a job that is too hard for me," the man sobbed. God walked over to the wagon. "What is this?" He held up a big piece of shale and tossed it on the ground. The man explained about his friend who asked him to bring it up the mountain. God continued to unload the wagon, removing both light and heavy items until only the three stones God had given him were left in the wagon.

"Let others shoulder their own belongings," God said gently. "I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighted down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you" (pages 51-52)""

I have been weighed down by too many rocks. Some are the rocks that are mine to carry, others I have happily allowed in, while others I hesitantly agreed to. But whatever the case, I have had too many rocks. I have really reflected during the last week about everything that I have to do, and my priorities. And I have done some praying, and I feel so much better. I'm still exhausted (courtesy of David!) but my attitude is in a much better place, and that makes all the difference. 

I have been so stressed out, and that is not how I want to feel, and I do NOT want Hannah and David remembering that their Mama was always tired and stressed out.  I can focus so much on everything that needs to be done, that I forget why I'm doing things. Hannah helped me fix dinner tonight. She has never helped me in the kitchen before, because my attitude has always been that her "helping" me would be to stay out of the kitchen, and out of my way. I have always thought that she could help out when she's older, but right now it would take too much time to let her help. My attitude and actions have not been a reflection of the kind of mother that I want to be. Hannah had so much fun helping, and she did a great job and I enjoyed it too.  All the time I could have saved from fixing dinner myself is nothing compared to the memories I have of my precious little girl stirring the "honey sauce" (honey mustard) and after tasting it declaring, "Mmmmm...tasty!" 

I have "unloaded my wagon of many rocks", and it feels so much lighter and I feel so much more capable of handling my load. I was at the point that the man in the story reached sobbing to God (and anyone else who would listen!) about how overwhelmed I have felt. And now I feel the sweet relief of having a load that is mine, and reflects my priorities. I know that there will be times that it will feel heavy and the path may me a little bumpy, but it's okay because I have a heavenly Father who loves me and knows me, (and my limits and faults and strengths...and exhaustion level!) and will never give me more than I can handle.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" 1 Corinthians 10:13

Feed Your Faith

I was taking a pre-nap drive (and a Sonic run!) with the kids today, we passed a church and I just love what the bill-board said, "Feed your faith, and your fears will starve to death". I just love it! If we focus on our faith, and spend time in prayer and in God's word, things that we are afraid of seem smaller and less significant, and pretty soon there is nothing to fear because we know that our Heavenly Father is bigger than any problem. So if you have fears that you are dealing with, stop feeding into the fear cycle and start feeding your faith!