The Doctors Wife

Curtastrophe

A couple of weeks ago when little Miss Hannah was feeling under the weather, I begged asked my Mom if she would like to come visit for few days so we could hang out and I could try to get a few things done around my house. I have been wanting to make curtains for our dining room since we moved in, but have never gotten around to it. What with the whole going to a fabric store with two small children while doing math in my head that involves conversions and getting out my sewing machine and all that goes with it and you know, actually sewing the curtains, well I just never found the time. But I could not stand curtain-less windows any longer and with my children in my Mother's very capable hands I made a solo trip for some fabric and came home and got down to business. As I began to pin the fabric, I began to regret my fabric choice. Let's just say that it involved puckering and gathers, and it was most unpleasant, especially when I realized that the lady who cut my fabric did not cut it straight (although if you were eye balling it and not measuring it looked fine) and by not straight I mean a difference of anywhere between 4-8 inches off, which is A LOT. So pinning one panel took me a sweet forever and when I actually began to sew the panel, I regretted my fabric choice even more. As nap time was running low and my frustration level was reaching its limit, I decided to sew the second panel guerrilla style, without pinning it. This horrified my sweet Mother and I asked that she leave the room so she would not witness the sewing atrocity that was getting ready to take place. I assured her that once they were hanging up, it would be fine. Just fine. Absolutely fine. And for $30 and a nap-time later, I think they look pretty great. They are assuredly far from perfect (much shorter than I planned- thank you for cutting the fabric all wonky fabric lady) but at the end of the day, mission accomplished.

The Before:

 

The After:

 

And a close up so you can see why the fabric was such a royal pain:

 

 
 
 

Accessorized

Medical Mondays- Saying I Do

I get lots of emails from women who are engaged to or dating medical students/residents/attendings and want my advice on whether or not they should go ahead and take the plunge and walk down the aisle. They have usually been bombarded with negativity about being a medical spouse and feel overwhelmed with other people's (usually) negative opinions. 

 And sometimes I just don't know what to say. Some give very detailed descriptions of situations while others are very general. But regardless of how much information I have, I am in no way qualified to tell someone whether or not they should get married. And I have no way of knowing how things will turn out, and what their medical marriage will be like. 

But because I get a lot of emails (and I am sorry to say I take a sweet forever to answer them) I thought I would share a few of my general opinions about marriage, and more specifically, a medical marriage. 

And now I will take this opportunity to remind you that this is all MY opinion and if you do not agree with or like my opinion that is perfectly fine, but if you want to be rude, nasty, hateful or otherwise unpleasant, please save me the trouble from having to delete any disrespectful comments by simply not leaving them. I am not a marriage expert, nor do I claim to have a perfect marriage, the following is simply MY thoughts since I frequently get emails regarding my thoughts on this subject. I know that my beliefs on marriage are not shared by everyone and again, that is just fine. Please respect my beliefs and save the hating for something more deserving...like high fructose corn syrup)

First things first, I believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment that is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. I do not believe that it should be entered into lightly and should be thoughtfully and prayerfully considered. And my word! There is a lot to pray about and consider when you are talking about joining your life with someone else's!  My best advice to anyone considering marriage is to pray, talk over things with your fiance, and seek Godly counsel. As hard as it sounds, it would be much better in the long run to talk things over and find out about any "deal breakers" before you walk down the aisle. (do you both want children? will you both work? how will money be handled? how is household labor to be shared? what are your religious beliefs and how will they affect how you raise your children? Trust me, there are LOTS of things to talk about!) When I say deal breakers, I'm not talking about being rigid and not compromising, but are there things that you cannot live with or without? Are there major differences in your beliefs that you cannot  compromise on? Better to know ahead of time so you know exactly what you are getting into (or out of).

Marriage will not magically fix the problems in your relationship. That's not how it works, marriage is not a band-aide that will heal challenges and problems you are facing. Issues that you face as a couple will always be there. 

In a good marriage, you will have to make sacrifices (and so will your spouse). Sometimes you will have to put your spouse and their needs ahead of your own. (and this is a two way street) A medical marriage will call for sacrifice, but this is not anything exclusive to being married to a doctor. ALL marriages will take sacrifice, some more than others, but it's part of the deal. Part of being in a marriage is having to  replace the selfishness we feel with selflessness. And everyone will struggle with this, it is not easy, but it is something that I feel is required in a marriage. And when you love some one the sacrifices you make (even the hard ones) are worth it. Remember that marriage splits your sorrows and doubles your joys!

Don't blame the career for the problems in your relationship/ marriage. Whether your husband/fiance is a doctor or a teacher, you will have problems at some time or another. And while it's easy to point the finger and say "If you weren't this, we wouldn't have that problem" Every marriage will encounter stress, problems, and trials regardless of what your profession is or your husbands. In my opinion marriage problems are rarely about the trials/ stresses faced but the reaction to the stress/ how you handle problems.

Okay... I think this post is long enough so that is all I have to say about that for today. I hope you all have a happy Monday!

So what do you say when you haven't blogged in forever? (crickets chirping...is anyone even still reading this much neglected blog?) So much has gone on in our little family and we have been so busy, with a fun stomach bug thrown into the mix since I last posted. This time of year is both my favorite, and the busiest and I am amazed at how the days can pass so quickly. David's baby-hood is flying by and every time I blink my eyes he is bigger and Hannah is talking up a storm, and every time she opens her mouth there are more words, sentences and expressions that I did not know that she knew and oh my good gracious, my baby is nine and a half months old where did the time go?????? (takes a deep breath)

So yes, we have had a lot going on and things are not going to slow down anytime soon. My little babies are growing up faster than I care to think about, but aside from a rather nasty stomach bug, things have been pretty fantastic. And now my favorite pic of the week:

 

"Look Mom! No hands and my eyes are closed!"

I Wasn't Kidding About The Squirrel Thing

Remember how I mentioned that Hannah stuffs her little bed full of toys? That she is like a squirrel? I totally wasn't kidding!

 

I laughed out loud when I saw this- she found a roll(? spool?) of yarn from my craft basket and had so much fun draping the "strings" over her bed while I put David down to sleep. Of course this was after she put each and every one of her baby dolls and stuffed animals down for a nap in her bed. Oh my little squirrel, she makes me laugh!

Medical Mondays- How Do You FInd The Time?

One challenge in a medical marriage is finding time for each other. With work obligations, family obligations, social obligations, and keeping the household afloat, how do you find time to maintain your relationship? We try to have a date night each week, and I know that some of you are thinking that is impossible. There is no way you can find the time each week to fit in a date night, but maybe rethink what a date night is. Remember that it doesn't matter what you are doing, as long as you are together. Our date nights are usually spent watching a movie, or catching up on a favorite show, and once a month we try to go out to eat alone. Our date nights are typically nothing fancy (except for when we go out- sometimes we splurge!) but we enjoy our time together hanging out at home after the kids are in bed. We make an effort to make our relationship a priority, and even though the hours at work can get long and the calendar can be full, it is so worth it!