If your spouse is a doctor, you more than likely a few moves (or will) under your belt. We moved for medical school, internship, and again for residency. We will also likely move for fellowship and again when Mike settles down for practice. I always knew that moving was on the table, but would have never expected to move quite so much. That said, it really hasn't been too bad. Not that I love to move, but I do love some aspects. I love looking at houses, exploring new neighborhoods/ communities, the feeling of finally being unpacked in a newly organized home, and the closeness that only having each other to rely on can bring. Now I'm not a total Susie Sunshine, there are some definite negatives, the packing, the actual process of the move, the unpacking, moving someplace where you don't know anyone, missing family and friends, the expense, just to name a few. The physical aspects while not my favorite, are something that has an actual time table and end. Your stuff has to get packed, and moved by a certain time. Even unpacking has a time frame in the sense that you have to unpack to be fully operational, and even the most laid back individual will get things put away.
What is so much harder about moving are the non-tangibles. Changing jobs, being away from family and friends, making new friends (why is it so much harder to make friends as an adult?) And if you have children your mama bear instincts will surely kick in and you worry about these things for your children too. So how do you cope with a move(s)?
• Approach it with a positive attitude- if you only look for the negatives, that is what you will find. Focus on the positives and be pro-active with solutions to the negatives.
• Have something to look forward to in your new city- perhaps a pedicure at a local spa, or maybe a reservation at a restaurant that is unique to the city, or tickets to the local theater, just something that you would enjoy that is unique to where you are moving.
• Keep in touch with old friends. With the huge variety of ways to keep in touch (email, text, phone, blogs, regular mail) you have no excuses not to keep in touch.
• Put yourself out there to make new friends. Go out to lunch with co-workers, join a play-group, plug into a church, meet the neighbors, get together with the other wives in your husbands residency, practice, etc.
• Pray. Pray before your move that things will go smoothly, for friendship, for peace about your new hometown, for any of your concerns that you have about the move.
• Explore your new hometown. Enjoy what your town has to offer, maybe buy an entertainment book so even on a budget you can try out new restaurants, shops, and attractions. Ask around for places to try- in my experience people love to talk about their town and will happily give you suggestions.
It isn't easy to pack up your life and move some place new. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. It is fun to live in a new place and discover new things. It can be a blessing to have the opportunity to get to know your spouse better and learn to rely on each other, it's fun to meet new people and make new friends (a little socially awkward maybe, but worth it in the long run!). If you are moving for medical school, residency, fellowship etc. keep in mind that it is for a set amount of time. Make the best of it, but rest easy in the knowledge that you can always move for the next chapter if you desire. If you are making a more permanent move, seize the opportunity to start fresh and make a life for your family.
So those are my thoughts- how about you? What tips do you have for making a move a little easier?
Good suggestions! I *hate* moving. But I need to get a better attitude because it is going to happen, like it or not. And I think I hate the "process" of moving more than the new place itself - I've adjusted surprisingly well and quickly to Tulsa, and I'm looking forward to getting out of this small apartment and into our new house soon... I just hate the packing, unpacking, and chaos that surrounds it all. Oh, and my husband's need to get it all in its place within 24 hours. :)
Posted by: Desiree | June 08, 2009 at 07:18 PM
Well said! I've moved every 4 years for the last 16 years of my life...we're getting closer to getting moving down to a science. ;-) I, too, love looking for a new place to live and love re-organizing; however, I despise the packing, packing, driving, unpacking, and unpacking.
What I've realized is that God has something AMAZING in store with each move....I dreaded moving to VA for med school, but now I miss it dearly and all of the *wonderful* people I eventually met. I really dreaded moving to South Texas (it's SOOOO hot here), but we're a part of an amazing Residency Program here, something we wouldn't have found anywhere else. God knows what we need...find comfort in that.
Posted by: Jessi | June 08, 2009 at 10:44 PM
We moved for medical school and residency...now we will plan a fellowship move and then a 'real job' move. I don't have near the positive attitude that you do, Joy!
I worry how the kids will adjust and about finances. I've decided for the next move I will plan to work part time and relieve Brandon of some of his moonlighting. You can do anything for a year ,right?!
Posted by: Natalie | June 09, 2009 at 01:06 AM
For me, the best part of moving is the cleaning out. I am such a clutter-phobe, and packing is a great excuse to get rid of all the unwanted/unneeded junk in my house. During M's fellowship year, knowing we would be moving again at the end of it, I would walk around my house and ask myself, "Do I want to unpack this? Do I want to have to find a place for it?" - and if the answer was no, it went in the trash or the donation pile.
Emotionally, it's always hard. Our last (and hopefully final) move was the hardest b/c we were moving from a built-in community of medical families in training (all of us in the same boat) to suburbia where we didn't know anyone and didn't have that sense of commonality with anyone. It was really, really hard - but after about 2 years, we found our "family" of friends/community.
There's a Nichole Nordeman song called "Seasons" that helps remind me that every season of life, whether the "death" of fall and winter or the "growth" of spring and summer, has a purpose, and God is always working.
Thanks for your positive outlook, Joy! Such a great reminder.
Posted by: Jennifer | June 09, 2009 at 11:31 AM
My advice is don't let your hubby pick your place if you have different standards of living. :o)
Posted by: Melisa | June 11, 2009 at 02:21 PM
Melisa, you crack me up.
Joy, I think God has His hand all over this. Our Survivor Saturday topic for this week *just so happened* to be moving. I have planned to link to your post, if that's ok. Let me know if it's not and I'll remove it...but you had some great things to say about this topic! Thanks again!
Posted by: Jennifer | June 12, 2009 at 03:11 PM