The Doctors Wife

A Completely New Way For Me To Waste Time

So I caved and joined Facebook. My parents have been trying to get me to join for forever and I have resisted because I have heard it is addictive and will suck up your time and turn your mind into friend request mush, but I decided I'd take my chances. And my good gracious, it is addictive. But it's nice to have something besides Etsy to spend some mindless time when I'm up at ridiculous hours with the little man. And can I say that I have been up about every two hours with him over the last couple of weeks? The last two nights have been better, but in some freak coincidence, when he would go over the two hour mark, Hannah would randomly get up and start crying. I'm not sure what that is all about, unless they are trying to tag team their Mama so that she is so tired her strict tv rules go out the window and it's Blue's Clues for everyone! But luckily (Thank you Lord!!) my Mom is coming up for a few days and I am so stinkin' excited I can hardly wait!! I see a nap in my future, that is unless I end up spending that time on facebook...

Yuck!

After reading this, you'll think twice about eating fast food. Yuck!!!! We eat almost all organic at home, but we do occasionally eat out or grab a quick bite of fast food, and this just makes me want to never eat fast food again. (oh Sonic happy hour, you lure me in, you're like a siren!)

Upside Down

Right-Side Up

Eight Years Ago...

I married the man of my dreams! And eight years later I would do it all again, I love you Mike!

Random Recap

Where have I been? Has it really been a week? What have we been up to? Ahh bullet points, how I love you so.

• The kids and I headed to my parents house. They have been remodeling and their house looks gorgeous!! It is weird because it is the home I grew up in, and while the furniture/paint/ etc. has changed several times, this has been the biggest change. It's weird because it's like their house, but not their house. But it is beautiful and I am officially in love with their living room rug.

• Hannah is fascinated with their cat, Benny. After we arrived she wandered around the house going,"Cat? Cat? Where are you?" Then when she would find him she would excitedly say, "There he is. Ooooh he's pretty. He's cute". It was adorable.

• While I loved seeing my parents home and getting to visit with my brother and nieces (who live near my parents) it will probably be a long time before we go back for a visit. Unfortunately David is not a fan of the car, and unlike every other baby I've ever known or heard of, he does not sleep in the car.  He will cry and then scream and get himself incredibly worked up, and I have tried just about everything I can think of to keep him calm and happy in the car, and nothing works. I can stand a little crying driving in town, but being in the car for a couple of hours with Screechy McScreamerson will make you think twice before going anywhere.

• I (finally) had Hannah's two year pictures done, and it was a disaster. It was an incredibly irritating experience and while Target has lured me back after a less than stellar session before with their cheap, cheap prices, I can say that I cannot do it one more time and will happily and willingly pay more money to go somewhere else. 

• We got back David's three month pictures (from a local photographer who also did all of Hannah's baby pictures, he is expensive, but worth every penny. Unlike Target, we have always had very good experiences with him I LOVE all of the pictures that he has done of Hannah and David's have turned out just as fabulous) and they are adorable!! I need more frames so I can display them all!

• My parents and Mike's parents came up for the weekend. It was a busy but fun weekend. Hannah and David enjoyed having four extra adults around who are happy and completely willing to pay complete and total attention to them.

• We went to the end of year dinner/ awards for Mike's residency group and it was lovely. It is nice to meet his colleagues and put names with faces. Mike also received an award for the highest score on the test that all the residents have to take. I am very proud of him, he is such a hard worker!

That's all that's going to spill out of my mind for now, Medical Monday is going to take a little summer vacation for the next couple of weeks. But it will be back, I am just needing to cut back a little computer time during the next week or so to do a little re-grouping at home, and some of my computer time will be spent trying to get my email under control. It is a nasty beast, you turn your back for a minute and your inbox is overflowing with hundreds of emails. Sigh. Every time I think I get it under control, it comes backing swinging. So I will be in and out over the next few days and hope that you all are having a perfectly lovely summer!

Medical Mondays- You Can't Have It Both Ways

I remember when Mike was in medical school, and I watched  an episode of Dr. Phil that has stuck with me to this day. It was about a couple who's marriage was having troubles, and at the heart of the issue was the principle, you can't have it both ways. The husband was an ER doc and worked a lot of hours to provide a lifestyle that his wife wanted. She wanted the big house, nice cars and the ability to shop and buy whatever she wanted. Her husband put in lots of hours and his wife slowly but surely began to feel resentful of all the time he spent at work. She became lonely and shopped to fill the void that she felt. Her husband would get the bills and pick up extra hours to cover her spending, in turn she became more resentful and lonely and spent more money. And the cycle continued and both were miserable. I've had acquaintances that spend their husbands paycheck before it's in the bank- they have a list of all the things that they want, and often their husbands are willing to pick up an extra shift or two to make it happen. But then they turn around and complain about the extra hours, never making the connection that they are inadvertently asking their husbands to work those hours. They haven't made the connection that those things that they want cost money that is outside of their husbands salary, and picking up those extra hours is what provides for those extras.

 Now there's nothing wrong with wanting a big house or a nice car, to send your kids to private school, or sign them up for various lessons, or to go on vacations, or shopping, or whatever. And if you have children it can be really hard to resist the urge to "give them the best of everything". (which can have a pretty steep price tag) The problem comes when you sacrifice the kind of family life you desire for material things. I think it is all about finding a balance that works for you and your family. Depending on what stage you're at in your life/marriage/parenthood/career, different things may be more of a priority. And that is fine, as long as you and your husband are on the same page and you are making priorities so you can afford the things that you enjoy and will enhance your family time instead of falling into the vicious cycle of trying to have it all, all at the same time. Or worse, paying for a lifestyle that you don't really want to keep up appearances. It sounds silly, but it happens. It's easy enough to do if you don't sit down and clearly prioritize what you want for your family, because society certainly has a "value system" and even if it does not align with what you want, it's easy enough to start to believe and live like it is. 

So I want to know, how do you prioritize? I have a friend who loves to travel and so they save in other areas so they can afford a nice family vacation each year. We have a list of the things that we want to do, (including vacations, new furniture, etc.) the list is prioritized and we just go down the list. How about you?

One Year Ago

It is amazing how much a year can change your life. This time last year, we were in the midst of  unpacking and preparing for Mike to start his new job. And even bigger, I found out I was pregnant with David.  I was starting to experience nausea, but I think I smiled for days. I was so excited, and could hardly wait to share our news. (I waited for several days, and I'm not sure how I didn't burst!) It is amazing to look back and see how different things were, how far we've come, and I can only imagine what the next year will hold. Last year I was dreaming of holding my sweet baby, and today I am so lucky to have such a sweet, healthy, chomp-able little sweetie!

I could chomp those little cheeks and thighs all day! 

A New Tradition

When we went to the zoo last week, Hannah rode the carousel. And can I just say how much she loved it? The next time we go I will have to take the video camera, because this little girl's face lit up and she grinned and had such a good time! I down-loaded pictures from my camera tonight and had to share this one! I think we have a new zoo tradition!

Gimpy, Again

Oliver started limping a little the other day. This morning he was limping really bad. Break your heart, pitiful, bad. The last time he started limping around, I wasn't sure what was going on, but this time I'm pretty sure he has re-injured his leg. I'm going to try to get him in to see the vet on Wednesday, and hopefully they can fix the problem. 

 It's funny, Oliver was my first "baby". Mike got him for me on my 21st birthday, and he was such a spoiled little thing. When we started trying to get pregnant he and Sophie were the recipients of my mommy energy. But Sophie has always been more partial to Mike, and Oliver happily basked in the attention. (he had no qualms about wearing doggie sweaters or coats) And when Hannah was born, he moved down a notch on the totem pole. And since David's birth he has moved down again. In the last 6-9 months we have really had some behavior issues with him. We have tried really hard to pay plenty of attention to both Oliver and Sophie, but it's hard and honestly, they don't get the same kind of attention that they once did. And his behavior doesn't help things. He is a good dog, and a smart dog, and it makes it so much more frustrating when he gets overly aggressive and defiant. We got a shock collar for him as a last resort a few weeks before David was  born (he bit me). (and seriously if you have anything awful to say about me getting a shock collar- save it. I do not want to  hear it, you can just sit there and be smug and think I'm a terrible person) I NEVER thought that I would EVER get a shock collar, but I have two small children, and I must consider their safety and I really did not want to give him away, so the shock collar was the right choice for us. (we carefully researched different kinds and have had pretty good results. He doesn't even wear it most of the time, because the behavior resolved itself after a couple of zaps, I know, I know it sounds awful, but it was better than giving him away) So I have my little dog who has authority issues and now he is gimping around and it is just so sad. I feel doggy guilt. He spent most of the day in the crate, it is the only way I can make him rest. When he is out of the crate he is running (albeit with a major limp) around and I know that will not help anything. So my little guy will probably spend a great deal of time in his crate over the next couple of days, but I will give him extra snuggles at night. Even though he can be a hand-full, he's still my cuddle pup.

Medical Mondays- Moving

If your spouse is a doctor, you more than likely a few moves (or will) under your belt. We moved for medical school, internship, and again for residency. We will also likely move for fellowship and again when Mike settles down for practice. I always knew that moving was on the table, but would have never expected to move quite so much. That said, it really hasn't been too bad. Not that I love to move, but I do love some aspects. I love looking at houses, exploring new neighborhoods/ communities, the feeling of finally being unpacked in a newly organized home, and the closeness that only having each other to rely on can bring. Now I'm not a total Susie Sunshine, there are some definite negatives, the packing, the actual process of the move, the unpacking, moving someplace where you don't know anyone, missing family and friends, the expense, just to name a few. The physical aspects while not my favorite, are something that has an actual time table and end. Your stuff has to get packed, and moved by a certain time. Even unpacking has a time frame in the sense that you have to unpack to be fully operational, and even the most laid back individual will get things put away. 

What is so much harder about moving are the non-tangibles. Changing jobs, being away from family and friends, making new friends (why is it so much harder to make friends as an adult?) And if you have children your mama bear instincts will surely kick in and you worry about  these things for your children too. So how do you cope with a move(s)?

• Approach it with a positive attitude- if you only look for the negatives, that is what you will find. Focus on the positives and be pro-active with solutions to the negatives. 

• Have something to look forward to in your new city- perhaps a pedicure at a local spa, or maybe a reservation at a restaurant that is unique to the city, or tickets to the local theater, just something that you would enjoy that is unique to where you are moving.

• Keep in touch with old friends. With the huge variety of ways to keep in touch (email, text, phone, blogs, regular mail) you have no excuses not to keep in touch.

• Put yourself out there to make new friends. Go out to lunch with co-workers, join a play-group, plug into a church, meet the neighbors, get together with the other wives in your husbands residency, practice, etc.

• Pray. Pray before your move that things will go smoothly, for friendship,  for peace about your new hometown, for any of your concerns that you have about the move.

• Explore your new hometown. Enjoy what your town has to offer, maybe buy an entertainment book so even on a budget you can try out new restaurants, shops, and attractions. Ask around for places to try- in my experience people love to talk about their town and will happily give you suggestions.

It isn't easy to pack up your life and move some place new. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. It is fun to live in a new place and discover new things. It can be a blessing to have the opportunity to get to know your spouse better and learn to rely on each other, it's fun to meet new people and make new friends (a little socially awkward maybe, but worth it in the long run!). If you are moving for medical school, residency, fellowship etc. keep in mind that it is for a set amount of time. Make the best of it, but rest easy in the knowledge that you can always move for the next chapter if you desire. If you are making a more permanent move, seize the opportunity to start fresh and make a life for your family. 

So those are my thoughts- how about you? What tips do you have for making a move a little easier?