I am tired people. I am still not completely recovered from being sick, and I am eight months pregnant, so you do the math on how I am feeling. And oh my gracious I am tired of dealing with all of this bloggy drama. I don't like the level that I have already been sucked into, I don't like the snappy side of me that this has brought out. Negativity is seeping into my home through my lap-top and I just don't have any place for it.
This blog is an outlet for me. It is generally a lighthearted account of my day to day life. I typically do not write about controversial topics, because in this season of young motherhood, I do not want to invite the criticism and controversy that goes along with it. I do not have the energy- my energy is needed elsewhere. Heaven knows that having a "mommy blog" is controversial enough. I know that as this is a public blog, criticism is going to come my way. Personally I do not understand being so disgusted with someone and their thoughts, opinions, and accounts that you keep on reading. And not only reading, but commenting in a rather rude and tactless way. I do not believe that everyone should agree, like, or even care about what I'm up to, however if you feel so inclined to let me know how you feel, I simply ask that you do it in a respectful way. Again, heaven knows what a critical and ugly place the world is, and while yes this is a public place, I do not understand why some readers seem so bent on trying to bring me down. Not to be all Pollyanna, but I had a Sunday school teacher in those very tricky middle school years- you know what I'm talking about, those years of unbelievable cattiness and cruelty, who always reiterated the point, "Your candle will not burn any brighter by blowing others out". And I always considered this to be pretty wise advice. While I am certainly not perfect, and have my moments when I should listen more closely to this advice, I try not to tear others down- there is enough of that in the world without me adding to it.
In high school in an English class, in an effort to improve our editorial skills, (or perhaps get out of grading papers) I had a teacher who did not actually grade any of the essays we wrote. Each essay was read, and graded by two peers, and the grades were averaged for your final essay grade. One paper I received was a very low score, I was a little surprised, as I had put quite a bit of effort into the paper. Upon reading the comments that the peer had written, very few had to do with the essay, or my writing abilities. In red ink, he had written "You are too happy" and given me a 48. Yes, I am generally a happy person and I choose to find the positive. (most of the time) However at that point in high school, my parents were hundreds of miles away. My mother had a very serious brain tumor and was away for surgery. (I have written about this previously, but am not going to take the time to find/ link it) It was an incredibly scary and lonely time for me, but I tried not to let life's circumstances take control of me. I dealt with it the best that I knew how, relied on lots of support from extended family and friends, and the sheer grace of God to get through it. So I know that life is not always rosy. I am very aware of this- but I choose to try to find the good, even when it seems like there is none. My life has not always been easy, right now I would not necessarily describe it as easy, but I am luckier than many and blessed most certainly beyond what I deserve, so I try (not always successful) not to grumble too much.
We live in a very judgmental world. If you stay home you will be criticized, if you work, you will be criticized, if you are happy in your marriage, unhappy in your marriage, overweight, underweight, short, tall, love to cook, or hate to cook, whatever the case may be, you will find people who are waiting to criticize you, very often in any aspect you can conceive. I try not to judge others, and I certainly try not to bring any body down because they believe differently than me. God does not lead us all down the same path, or call us all to do the same thing. He gifts us all differently and it is up to us to hear his calling for us and follow his word. Now this is not to say that I do not have opinions- oh I most certainly do, but generally speaking, unless I am asked, I don't often impose them on others.
I am also pretty aware of my own shortcomings, flaws, and vulnerabilities, I really don't need extra voices who only get a small slice of my life pointing out and identifying what they feel are my shortcomings, again if I am so egregious in my behavior that you feel compelled to let me know- that is fine- do it respectfully, and leave my family out of it. I have never deleted comments- even the negative ones, because that feels a little edit-y to me. But I am also tired of defending myself, and again this is MY blog, and as far as I know, no one is being forced to read it. So because I have a lot going on right now, and you know there is something in the next couple of days known as Christmas, I am closing comments on all of my posts. If you have something to say to me, please email me. I have several auto posts coming up since again, it is Christmas, and I have a Saviour to celebrate. So please, let us move on, because none of this nonsense is appropriate, any time of year but especially Christmas. I wish you all love, joy and happiness and hope you all come to know the abundant grace of God's love this Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Joy