Talk To The Animals

This post was written in response to a writing challenge from Moo'sMoo. The prompt asks if you could have any super power, what would it be? You can read other responses here.

If I could pick a super power, I would want to talk with animals. Before Hannah was born I went to great lengths to make sure that Oliver and Sophie were as prepared as I could possibly make them for the new arrival. After every baby shower or baby shopping trip, I would lay out all of the baby's presents on the floor in the nursery and let the dogs sniff and be nosy to their heart's desire. I figured this would satisfy their curiosity about the heaps of things coming into our home and was hoping that since they would have seen/ smelled it all they would not be as interested in it when we were using these things for the baby. (The only thing that they seemed to be overly interested in and tried to sneak out was a set of animal bath finger puppets from Pottery Barn). We hired an animal behaviorist/ trainer who came and helped us brush up on training/ manners and gave us some pointers for preparing the dogs for Hannah's arrival. When Hannah was born, we brought home a mini doggie cake so the dogs would associate Hannah with something positive. (Sophie loves, luuuvess doggie cake! and cake makes everything better) I had such a strong desire to make sure that the dogs would respond well to our new addition. I wanted it to be positive for them, and for us too. I knew that things would be stressful as it was without adding dog problems to the mix. My life would have been much easier if I could have just explained to the dogs that things were going to be different and please leave the baby stuff alone.

A few weeks after Hannah was born, our favorite dog store was hosting a benefit for a local rescue group, for a $30 donation we would have a session with an animal communicator. This intrigued me. I knew that odds were, we were simply making a $30 donation and weren't going to get anything out of it in return. But...what if this lady was some kind of Dr. Dolittle and could actually tell me something about my sweet little doggies? So I signed us up. Mike was VERY skeptical and I kept assuring him that we were making a donation, and should we get something out of the experience fine, if not we were helping poor homeless animals. Being the ever sweet, patient husband that he is, Mike went along with my plan. (skeptically of course!)

The day came and all five of us arrived for our appointment with the animal communicator. Sophie went first. She (the animal communicator) told us how much Sophie loved going in the car, (Sophie HATES the car, HATES- she hides under our bed if she thinks she is about to get in the car, we have to trick her into thinking she is going for a walk... yes... a walk to the car) and how much she loved Hannah, and thought of her as her puppy. (She was sitting next to Hannah's car-seat, trying to give her kisses) Hmmmm not so insightful. Next was Oliver. She told us how much he loved the pool and was going to miss swimming when we moved. (we had told her at the beginning of the session that we were moving in a few weeks. We did not have a pool, and the only swimming he has ever done is if I fill the tub a little to full for him during a bath). Rrriiiiight. Mike later commented that the entire session he had quacking sounds in his head. I told him his bad energy had probably mucked things up. Seriously, she was a quack. I hope our little donation helped some little animal find a home- because the insight we received from the animal communicator was sketchy at best. If I could have talked to them myself, I could have given the donation and saved us some time.

Soooo, long story later, I would like to be able to talk to animals. I would love to know what goes on in Oliver and Sophie's little heads. Oliver has pulled some interesting stunts in his life. We joke that he is a little cleptomaniac. He likes to stash his contraband under our bed. For a while he was into grooming products, when my parents would come over he would raid their suitcase as soon as he had the chance. One trip he took my Dad's toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, and my Mom's gum. He is also obsessed with trying to get my make-up brushes and I have had to crawl under the bed to retrieve my eye- lash curler, tubes of chewed up lip-gloss and hair clips among other things. Now he has moved on to big ticket items, such as my mother in law's checkbook. I would love to have a little chat with him about that.

Comments

[rimarama]

I definitely think that animals have the ability to sense things about humans, so why couldn't we tap into their little minds, too? I would love to have a little chat with that cat in New England who lives in a nursing home and knows when one of the residents is about to pass away (on second thought, maybe I wouldn't!)

[moo]

The dog psychic is too funny! At least the contribution was for a good cause ...

In college, my girlfriends and I narrated for the squirrels who threw acorns at us out of the big trees on North Campus ... but since then, I haven't thought too much about speaking for animals. Cool idea, though!

[Miss]

That would be great!!! I could finally find out why my cat loves shoes.